tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34947282567239784732023-11-15T06:11:04.181-08:00The Trailing EdgeAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14422036282147381887noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3494728256723978473.post-35240930845849393902014-08-15T16:42:00.001-07:002014-08-15T16:42:16.418-07:00The Author Can, and Will, Sell You BooksNow that 'Who Am I Today?' has been released I'm encouraging all potential buyers to head for their nearest independent bookseller and place an order. Annie Bloom's in Multnomah Village has the book in stock for immediate purchase. As I've explained in previous posts, my publication platform is Ingram Lightning Source. One reason I went with the Ingram system is to help give a boost to neighborhood bookstores across the USA. <br />
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Several indies around the country have already jumped onboard and placed orders. My sincere thanks to Montana Book & Toy Company in Helena, Valley Bookstore in Stillwater, MN, and the Bookshop of Beverly Farms in Massachusetts. Having such a great support network is something all authors dream about and I'm looking forward to helping it grow every day.<br />
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I also know there are many parts of the country where indie bookstores have, sadly, disappeared. For anyone who wants my books and can't get to a local independent, feel free to buy them directly from me. Here's how my system works:<br />
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All my titles are priced at $10. In addition to the new one I also have plenty of stock remaining for 'I'm Right Here, Fish-Cake' and 'It Came With The House.' You may contact me via email to start the process and my email address is jpshaffer@comcast.net and you should put 'Book Purchase' in the subject box. For orders of 1 to 5 copies there is a shipping charge of $3. For orders of 6 to 10 copies the shipping charge is $5. If you decide to buy more than 10 copies the charge is $6, even if you buy 30 or 40, or more. I'll cover the additional shipping cost. Happy to do it. You can pay with check or Paypal. Books can be autographed, or not, as specified by the purchaser. If you live in the Portland metro area I might even be able to deliver the books right to your home at no charge. We'll work out those details as they arise, okay?<br />
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I offer this option as an alternative to Amazon, and I look forward to meeting new friends!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14422036282147381887noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3494728256723978473.post-33039937223935758872014-08-11T07:21:00.000-07:002014-08-11T07:21:43.613-07:00Faster Than The Speed of BlurbsThere are no blurbs on the front or back cover of my book. No quotes from other writers praising my writing talents. With conventional publishing there is a long pre-release publicity buildup and I'm not doing that. The publishing platform I'm using allows me to crash into the open market quickly and I'm hoping the lack of blurbs will not be a drawback. Maybe I'll get blurbs later. I've never been too sure how much blurbs really matter, anyway. The crucial factor in my favor right now is that independent bookstores all over the US can order my book for their customers. <br />
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There is one big 'IF.' Your local independent bookstore needs to be hooked into the Ingram network. Ingram is one of the major book distributors. They have giant warehouses around the country. Here in Oregon if you drive along I-5 you will see one near the freeway just south of Roseburg. That building is crammed with books and when a customer comes into Annie Bloom's and wants a book that we don't have in stock, the Roseburg warehouse is the first place we check. <br />
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My books originate from an Ingram warehouse in Tennessee. That's why it may take a week or more to get a copy if you order one. Right now I'm in the process of sending out copies to various media outlets for possible reviews. I've also had great support from the management at Annie Bloom's and the book will be stocked there, and should be available sometime this week.<br />
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If you live in a part of the country that has no local independent bookstore feel free to go to the Annie Bloom's website and order a copy there. It can be shipped anywhere in the country (you'll have to pay a mailing charge of $5.60). <br />
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My promotional campaign depends heavily on every person who decides to buy the book. Word-of-mouth is an old fashioned way to get publicity but I prefer it above all others. If you like 'Who Am I Today?' please let your opinion be known. Friends telling friends about a book they enjoyed is better than any blurb.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14422036282147381887noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3494728256723978473.post-90247814411122639932014-08-06T19:09:00.000-07:002014-08-06T19:09:07.814-07:00The Latest Edition of MeA new collection of my commentaries on various aspects of everyday life is now available! Huge thanks to Trevor Richardson at Subtopian Publishing for helping make this happen.<br />
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The title of the book is 'Who Am I Today?' and the ISBN number is 9780988936331 and this information is important. From personal experience at Annie Bloom's I can tell you that it's always best to have the title, author, and ISBN handy when you call or walk in to order a book. <br />
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Wherever you live in the US, you should be able to get 'Who Am I Today?' through your nearest independent bookseller if they are part of the Ingram distribution network. Many of the essays in the book have appeared in Huffington Post, the Christian Science Monitor, Subtopian, and other publications. Some are appearing in print for the first time. The subject matter is all over the place and that's a big reason I've had trouble developing an audience during the past 25 years of writing. I never developed a niche and I'm interested in a wide range of topics including history, parenting, UFOs, television, the aging process, house cleaning, and how we all manage to get through the day.<br />
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So who will enjoy this book? I like to think my target audience is everyone above age 20. Kids in the younger demographic brackets might find it interesting for some of the historical references. My biggest worry is that some readers may not be able to tell which essays are satirical. The world has become so bizarre and there are so many media outlets promoting "weird news" and other societal oddities that reality and fiction often seem indistinguishable.<br />
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I feel pretty confident in saying that if you buy this book as a gift for someone, they will not be offended by the content. I'm not a "slash and burn" essayist and I grew up in an era when bad words were not a standard part of daily communication. <br />
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I'm looking forward to promoting the book through local media in Portland and by word of mouth in the weeks and months ahead. And if you bump into me on the street and have a copy in your pocket, I'll be happy to autograph it!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14422036282147381887noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3494728256723978473.post-70807141599135473902014-07-21T07:49:00.000-07:002014-07-21T07:49:20.441-07:00Roughing ItI'm not embarrassed to call myself a moderate when it comes to personal habits and public behavior. The term also describes my approach to myriad issues of daily life. I've maintained a high level of inner contentment during the past few decades by avoiding extremist ideas in politics, individual conduct, and recreational pursuits.<div>
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The latter category is significant because of the growing popularity of physically demanding summertime vacation activities known as "extreme sports." A huge number of Americans now enjoy climbing walls of granite, kayaking down raging whitewater rapids, trekking through isolated, rugged wilderness areas or trying to ascend snow-capped mountains.</div>
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No such outings will ever be listed on our family calendar. My approach to outdoor adventure was heavily influenced by the late Marlin Perkins, venerable host of the classic TV series 'Wild Kingdom,' who usually waited in the canoe while his partner Jim plunged overboard and wrestled with the alligators. Like Marlin, I also prefer staying dry and not getting bitten by other species. I firmly believe the word "camping" means staying at a motel that has linoleum floors instead of carpeting.</div>
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Robust, daring travelers may consider my low threshold of discomfort a disgrace to our American pioneer heritage. I see it as one small pillar of support for independent motel operators, a vanishing breed of unsung entrepreneurs who carved out their own special niche in the national landscape.</div>
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Cheap motels can bring visitors to the brink of frontier living while maintaining a safety net of essential services. Sleeping bags may be needed to ensure a comfortable night's rest if the room is furnished with thin blankets and weak baseboard heating. The rustic feeling may be enhanced by a dingy, cramped shower stall and water pressure that hovers just above a slow trickle.</div>
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Basic wiring is also crucial for my style of camping. Having electrical outlets readily available means I can brew a cup of soup or cocoa immediately by using a small, plug-in heating coil instead of having to build a smoky, sputtering fire. </div>
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Roadside motor lodges took a tremendous public relations hit when Alfred Hitchcock released the original movie version of 'Psycho' in 1960. But anyone who watches the film closely cannot deny that Janet Leigh's room is clean, comfortable and tidy. In fact, if the Bates Motel hadn't been operated by crazy Anthony Perkins (NO relation to Marlin, thank goodness) I'm sure it would have rated at least two diamonds from the lodging experts at Triple-A. </div>
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Responsible campers are supposed to live gently on the land and the same philosophy can be applied to motel accommodations. I always throw trash in wastebaskets and pile used towels in the bathroom before leaving. This makes the housekeeper's job a little easier. And, to be honest, I don't want the staff to think I'm an inconsiderate slob who was raised by wolves and can't pick up after himself.</div>
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I have no quarrel with people who think my style of camping is lazy and dull. If your idea of outdoor fun is huddling in a snow cave while heating a can of chili with a butane lighter, go for it. But I like to have four walls around me at night and during stormy weather. And anyone who tries to change my attitude gets a simple response: Do Not Disturb.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14422036282147381887noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3494728256723978473.post-19734807463531155402014-05-30T22:01:00.000-07:002014-05-30T22:01:27.376-07:00The Water Next Time
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<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
If I had a glass of water for
every gripe or wisecrack about the recent E-coli event in Portland I could open
my own private reservoir. A lot of
reaction has focused on how well the phone notification system worked, or
didn’t, and there’s been plenty of humor about a boil water alert getting it’s
own hashtag.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As citywide emergencies go,
this one was pretty low intensity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m
not criticizing anyone who raced to the supermarket and stocked up on bottled
water. But access to the municipal supply was never in doubt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The system remained fully functional and the flow
didn’t stop.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I’d say right now is the
perfect moment to consider the next water crisis, which might be much more
serious.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ask yourself this question:
If an 8.5 earthquake hits the northwest tomorrow and nothing happens when you
turn on the nearest faucet, what will you do?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Finding clean water after a major disaster is a contingency that everyone
in every city needs to think about.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There won’t be any
warning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What’s the state of your current
household beverage supply?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Will it last
for a few days, or a couple of weeks?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Damage
from a massive quake could create a lot of truly grim scenarios.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you want to learn more about the geologic
instability of this region just read ‘Cascadia’s Fault’ by Jerry Thompson
(Counterpoint Press 2011). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s likely the
number of underground water mains needing repairs will be big, and I can
foresee immediate controversy erupting over which pipes get top priority.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Assuming, of course, that all the tools and heavy
equipment required for such work, and crews to operate them, are available.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Also, don’t forget that every
city water system has a front and back end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Getting clean water to drink is the front end and in Portland the Water
Bureau handles that part. On the back end, sewage disposal is overseen by the
Bureau of Environmental Services.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If
that part of the system stops functioning for any length of time our quality of
life will take another major hit.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here’s the unpleasant
reality: when indoor plumbing goes ‘offline’ a person who lives in a house can
always prepare a latrine in the backyard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But what about the thousands of people who live in apartments? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What are they supposed to do when their
toilets don’t flush?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have posed this
question to friends a couple of times while discussing emergency plans and the
standard response is, “Ewww!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s
gross!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, I agree, and that’s exactly
why we need to figure out possible solutions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Saying “Ewww!” and hoping it won’t happen isn’t a useful policy for
dealing with any potential crisis.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Most estimates of water use
in America say an average person uses about 80 to 100 gallons per day. That
includes showering, laundry, bathroom needs and drinking. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If the flow stopped suddenly and I had to cut
my consumption to the absolute bare minimum, I honestly don’t know what that amount
would be.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Does this kind of theorizing
make you nervous? Water security is,
literally, a life and death matter.
Sorry if I shook anybody up but this subject needs a thorough, joke-free
public discussion before the real shaking starts. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 20pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14422036282147381887noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3494728256723978473.post-14587918164870239052014-03-22T22:56:00.000-07:002014-03-22T22:56:21.007-07:00The Fast, The Furious, and Me
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I’m ready to let some higher
authority take over my car when I’m on the highway. Actually I want all cars to be under some
central command system. For decades I’ve
read about experiments that use a cable buried under the pavement to control
vehicles traveling the roadway. Whatever
works, I say let’s give it a try. I
didn’t always feel this way but I’ve been worn down by too many close
encounters with motoring miscreants.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The latest incident happened
recently as<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was heading out of
downtown Portland on the Sunset Highway about 9 A.M.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I entered the tunnel my car was in the far
left lane and traffic was fairly heavy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I was trying to stay about three or four car lengths behind the vehicle
in front of me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is a basic rule
that every kid hears in driver education class.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Unfortunately it seems to be widely disregarded once a license is
obtained.<o:p></o:p></div>
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On the way out of the tunnel
I heard someone honk<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and thought, “Are
you KIDDING?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A glance in the rearview
mirror showed the car behind me almost touching my back bumper.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Only one headlight, on the left side, was
illuminated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The right headlight wasn’t
working because it was smashed and broken and part of the hood was dented.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I was being tailgated by someone in a car
that had damage from a previous collision, and that driver was honking to make
me speed up and tailgate the car ahead of me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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As we headed uphill toward
the zoo I saw the honker suddenly move into the middle lane, then continue over
into the slow lane, where it accelerated for a short stretch and then cut back
into the middle lane.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It gained about 75
feet from all that activity.<o:p></o:p></div>
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In my mind, a scenario
unfolded that brought swift consequences to that other driver.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because I’m a science fiction fan, my
imaginary response came in the form of a massive, all-seeing all-knowing
computer that instantly pinpoints motoring miscreants and takes control of
their vehicles, which are safely steered to a safe stopping area.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The offending drivers are then subjected to
a whitering lecture issued through the car radio.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Think of ‘Colossus: The Forbin Project’ combined with ‘Eagle Eye.’<o:p></o:p></div>
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I feel like the technology
for this scenario must already exist.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Microchips that record data and send out radio signals could surely be
modified to take over operation of a motor vehicle when a specific order is
issued by a remote source.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The main problem with this
idea is that a lot of offenders would just ignore the warning and immediately
revert back to their reckless habits. Authority figures, human or robotic, don’t
seem to intimidate them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also, as all
science fiction fans know, most super-intelligent computers inevitably go
haywire and try to take over the world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Best not to pursue this scenario beyond the wishful thinking stage.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Maybe the cable in the pavement
is the answer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m ready for anything
that will bring order to the daily traffic flow and keep the cannonball runners
in line, moving at the same speed as everybody else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh, and I also want someone to invent a
device I can point at anyone who gratuitously honks at me and deactivate their
horn permanently.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--EndFragment-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14422036282147381887noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3494728256723978473.post-84778366048669775032014-02-22T15:29:00.001-08:002014-02-22T15:29:33.221-08:00Two Big Writing Obstacles--My Hands<br />
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Being creative is only part of the task I face as a writer. My thinking ability is pretty good. Organizing the words inside my head is seldom a problem. The bad part happens when I start typing. I'm terrible at it, always have been, and decade after decade my skills never get any better. Just typing that previous sentence was rough. I spelled 'decade' as 'descade' and made a couple of spacing errors. Correcting each new glitch takes a few seconds and all those little nicks of time slow down the whole process. It's like driving your car and pushing the brake pedal by accident every 15 or 20 seconds. This explains why a lot of my columns and essays tend to be short. Producing a final draft of 500 to 900 words often leaves me physically and emotionally weakened. <br />
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I took a typing class in 8th grade and basically faked my way through it. "Don't be looking at the keys!" was one of the teacher's daily commands and I tried to obey but soon realized my efforts were always going to end in failure. Other kids were doing just fine fine, gaining speed and using every finger as the textbook instructed. To this day I only use the index and middle finger on each hand. (FYI--I just typed 'eavh' instead of 'each' and had to correct it). On rare occasions the ring finger on my right hand may get into the action, but both little fingers are totally uninvolved. I sometimes think I don't even need my little fingers anymore. If I had a relative who required a pinky transplant in order to survive I would gladly donate one of mine without a moment's hesitation.<br />
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It would obviously help to memorize the keyboard but that's never happened either. Finding 'V' is always a mini-mystery. And 'M' is dangerous because it has keys for punctuation as neighbors on the right side and they often get hit by mistake. When I see my wife and daughter typing at their computers, staring at the screens while their fingers blaze along at machine-gun speed, I'm puzzled and forlorn, not unlike an old horse hitched to a covered wagon stuck in deep mud. I feel the same way watching talented musicians playing their instruments while singing and dancing simultaneously. <br />
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You'd think I would have at least mastered the ability to type simple words flawlessly but that's not the case. Although 'the' and 'is' have a pretty high success rate I still manage to mangle them into 'thr' and 'id' and other variations on a regular basis. One good feature about manual typewriters was that people like me with minimal talent had some margin for error. If you pressed the wrong key by accident you had time to pull back before the mistake was committed to paper. I don't want to go back to those days but I do wish someone would invent a sensitivity meter for modern keyboards that would automatically detect when one fingertip is touching two or more keys and give priority to the key that has the highest percentage of skin contact. <br />
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Looking ahead, I feel pretty confident in assuring whoever reads this blog that you will probably never receive a text message from me. Since my dexterity skills can barely handle typing on a normal size keyboard with real keys, communicating via a tiny flat-screen keyboard with virtual keys is way past the outer limits of my abilities. I'm going to end this entry now because my finhers, or fingers rather, are starting to feel ftugued. I meant fatigued. Five paragraphs will do that do an inept typist. Next time I'll try for six. Five-and-a-half for sure.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14422036282147381887noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3494728256723978473.post-31923051790843142842014-02-02T21:35:00.001-08:002014-02-02T21:35:32.091-08:00A Place Where Words Take PriorityOne thing all visitors to The Trailing Edge will notice is that it's mostly text. I'll add pictures now and then as time goes on and my technical skills improve but I doubt it'll ever be visually dazzling. If this was a TV news program, I'd be a talking head for about 95-percent of the broadcast. This attitude puts me pretty far outside the current media mainstream. For the past 40 years an ongoing mantra in newspaper editorial meetings and TV newsrooms has been "More graphics!" <br />
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The trend kicked into high gear in the early 1980s when 'USA Today' was launched with lots of color and other eye-catching features that quickly attracted a huge audience. Other papers around the country looked closely at their own formats and worried that traditional black-and-white pages suddenly seemed stodgy and outdated. More and more attention began to focus on style rather than substance. The equation is pretty simple: Devoting more space to graphics leaves less space for content. <br />
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There are plenty of reasons to be critical of publications that present the news in quick, easy-to-read morsels but the undeniable reality is that American reading habits have been moving in that direction for nearly a hundred years. Reader's Digest came into existence in 1922 and was followed a few years later by Time magazine. Their publishers touted the idea of "condensing" news stories as a practical way for readers to stay informed about current events while maintaining busy personal schedules in the increasingly fast-paced 20th century. Journalists and other writers mocked that idea as nothing more than a clever marketing ploy that would actually make Americans less informed in the long run.<br />
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So here we are. There's no turning back the clock. Nobody will ever start a newspaper that looks like those Civil-War era editions that had 10,000 words jammed onto each page. On the other hand, there's nothing inherently wrong with brevity. I keep a lot of my writing short because if I produce something good I want a reader to say, "Gee, I wish that hadn't ended so soon!" and if I produce something bad I want a reader to say, "Boy am I glad that didn't go on any longer!"<br />
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Regarding pictures--when my first humor collection came out in 1995 I spread the news by word of mouth among my friends and neighbors. And when people learned I had written a book one question that many of them immediately asked was, "Does it have pictures?" It caught me by surprise. I had thought people would quickly want to know who published it, where they could find it, or how much it cost. That was my wake-up call that pictures are important. In fact, both my humor collections from Catbird Press do have illustrations by the very talented Paul Hoffman and, as I said in the opening paragraph, there will be pictures appearing here very soon, and on a regular basis.<br />
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I want to express sincere thanks once again to everyone who has stopped into the bookstore and told me they enjoyed my segment on Oregon Art Beat. It's especially nice to meet customers making their very first visit. Independent businesses are the building blocks of a solid community. Wherever you live, even if it's in another state, feel free to think of Annie Bloom's as your neighborhood bookseller.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14422036282147381887noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3494728256723978473.post-81072513989230230652014-01-25T10:16:00.000-08:002014-01-25T10:16:39.586-08:00To the best of my knowledge, my appearance on Oregon Art Beat has not caused anyone to call OPB and cancel their membership. Most credit for the production must go to OPB videographer Greg Bond. He was the driving force behind the project and did all the shooting and editing. The stand-up segment took place in June 2013. Fewer than a dozen people showed up, but small turnouts are a fact of life for most authors and performing artists. I did manage to pull in two people who were just taking an evening stroll in Multnomah Village and had no idea the event was happening, and they told me later it was a very enjoyable surprise. <br />
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There was, of course, a lot of material that didn't make it into the segment. My performance was 40 minutes long, and we probably spent half an hour taping throughout the interior spaces of Annie Bloom's. There's a term everyone in TV and movies is familiar with: shooting ratio. It's the amount of time you spend shooting per minute of footage that gets on the air. So if the final cut is five minutes long and you shot forty minutes of material the shooting ratio is 8 to 1. I'm sure ours was higher. I had no role in setting up the structure of the piece or the editing process. I was just the content provider.<br />
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I did make one factual error in my narration that needs to be corrected. At one point I said Annie Bloom's has been around for 33 years and it's actually 35. That's the kind of mistake that could cause big trouble if I was running for high office. Actually there's an abundance of footage in the segment that would make seeking high or low office very difficult for me in the future. <br />
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I've been asked about a song I used during my presentation. The song is entitled 'Joan Crawford' and can be found on the album 'Fire Of Unknown Origin' by Blue Oyster Cult. I heard this song one time on my car radio sometime in the 1980s and it made an instant and lasting psychic connection. The opening lines set up a fantastically weird end-of-days scenario:<br />
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"Junkies down in Brooklyn are going crazy<br />
They're laughing just like hungry dogs in the street.<br />
Policemen are hiding behind the skirts of little girls<br />
Their eyes have turned the color of frozen meat!"<br />
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For me, those are the kind of lyrics that justify the existence of rock music. In my mind, I can visualize the face of Joan Crawford slowly rising over the horizon, bigger than a hundred moons. That would absolutely make my eyes turn the color of frozen meat.<br />
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The inevitable final question is: Will there be an encore live performance? At this point anything is possible. There were a lot of topics I did not cover. There are many possibilities. For the moment all I can say is -- stay tuned.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14422036282147381887noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3494728256723978473.post-61183138765366310392014-01-22T15:33:00.001-08:002014-01-22T15:36:27.788-08:00<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Welcome and please make yourself comfortable. This is not a place where you'll find the very latest up-to-the-minute news, information, opinions, and unconfirmed rumors. If I was going to run that kind of operation I'd call it 'The Cutting Edge.' I don't want to be on the cutting edge but I want to stay close to it. The Trailing Edge suits me just fine. </span></i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Anyone who is familiar with my writing knows that I never developed a niche. My attention span is wide and always looking for new subjects. Humor and satire occur frequently when I sit down at the keyboard and there is no shortage of targets for me to aim at in the current culture. My main goal is never to be predictable and/or dull. </span></i><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>I've been interviewed a few times and one trick I no longer allow is for the interviewer to start listing current news stories or personalities and have me make an instant response to each one. There are a whole lot of incidents and controversies simmering in the news media every day and most of them don't need any comment from me. And there is an enormous amount of programming on television that I am not watching.</i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>My most recent collection of essays ('Humor Without Borders') just became available in book form and you can find all my titles and purchasing options by trolling around with your cursor. </i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>This is uncertain territory for me because I'm not skilled when it comes to personal technology and I never learned to type more than about 10 words per minute. I'm still hoping someone will invent at application that lets me use a Sharpie to write my posts in cursive directly on the screen. I fear it's never going to happen.</i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>I invite you to visit often and by all means tell your friends, relatives, and anyone else you know who seems like they'd feel at home here.</i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14422036282147381887noreply@blogger.com3